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The Oak Springs Gazette
Oak Springs, Texas 78873
The day started off promising as the temperature dropped to a cool ninety degrees with a light breeze and most of the town in attendance for the annual Blue Ribbon Pie Bake-Off. We had a total of twelve entries in this year's contest and flavors ranging from apple to Mrs. Whitaker's famous rhubarb pie. When the judges approached the table of new contestant, Miss Amelia Parker, it was reported that they got a surprise when they tasted their slice of Miss Parker's Lemon Icebox Pie. From their reactions, something had gone terribly wrong in the baking process as all three judges ran off to the nearest trashcan or maybe the bathroom. Amelia then took a sampling of her pie and glared at the closest Parker brother present, Trevor Parker, who was giggling himself silly. Rumor has it that Trevor had replaced Amelia's sugar with salt and her powered sugar with baking soda. Upon discovery of her brother's treachery, the inedible pie was then hurled at the youngest Parker brother hitting him square in the face. Not to be shown up by his little sister, Trevor then took the pie closest to him and smashed it on his sister's head... Which happened to be Mrs. Whitaker's famous rhubarb pie. Mrs. Whitaker in a fit a fury then chased Trevor Parker with her cane down the streets of Oak Springs until Trevor's brother, Mitchell (who happens to be law enforcement), talked her down from further assaulting his little brother. Rumor also has it that Mrs. Parker dragged both her wayward children home by their ears while the rest of the Parker siblings watched from the sidelines laughing their heads off. Congratulations are in order to Mrs. Lottie Fisk on her blue ribbon winning Pecan Pie. In her acceptance speech, she thanked both Amelia and Trevor Parker for finally giving her the opportunity to beat out the undefeated Mrs. Whitaker.
By Guest Report Sadie Allen
From the Gazette hot news desk:
Y'all she is at it again! If you're following behind Waylynn Parker, a quick heads up. She will brake, stop, and get out of her car to save a turtle crossing the sidewalk.
We spoke with her husband just yesterday.
"Waylynn, well, what can I say. She loves them turtles so y'all best be looking if you're following behind her. Oh, and you might want to have some hand sanitizer on hand 'cause she may have you get out and help her."
You heard it heere folks and straight from Jonathon Turner, so don't say we didn't warn ya.
Congratulations to Waylynn Parker and Jonathon Turner on the arrival of their new baby girl, Liberty Turner!
with Kelly Lewis
John Parker has told our very own Kelly Lewis that his granddaughter,Chloe Parker, daughter of Steed and Paxton Parker is practicing with her new goat, Lincoln,in hopes of showing Lincoln this spring at the San Antonio live stock show and rodeo. Rumor has it she wasn't too pleased when told she wouldn't be able to keep the goat if she won. Kelly will be keeping an ear to the ground on this one y'all.
Lieutenant Mitchell Parker informed the Oak Springs News to be on the look out for a mountain lion that was spotted south of Ranch Road 37. If you spot the cat, please call 311 and let them know.
Also from the Lieutenant, Mrs. Johnson reported her pies being stolen from her windows. Y'all...don't be stealing the pies. Parents let your kids know the next time Mrs. Johnson said she'd be waiting. This statement makes Lieutenant Parker slightly worried.